Summer Style

I’ve definitely been undergoing a style transformation lately. It’s weird how one day you can just wake up and be like eh, I don’t want to wear these clothes anymore. I still love my vintage clothes, and I’m keeping them, but at least right now I won’t be wearing them very often.

Right now, summer style means:

  • tanktops
  • shorts
  • sunglasses
  • flip-flops
  • printed shirts
  • friendship bracelets
  • minimal makeup
  • of course, tons of sunscreen

But anyway, let’s look at some cute outfits I’ve been wearing lately :)

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White tanktop with anchors on it from Pitaya and a headband from Claire’s.

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Heart sweatshirt from Victoria’s Secret. I love this sweatshirt so much.

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I love this outfit! Shirt is from American Eagle, shorts from Urban Outfitters.

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I saw this shirt at Target and thought 1) that’s the dumbest shirt ever 2) I neeeeeed it.

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Me being a cool lumberjack

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New sunglasses from Target!

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And finally, new summer hair. I am loving it. I think lighter hair might be more flattering on me than darker hair, even though I naturally have really dark hair. I just started really wanting to switch up my hair!

I know I haven’t been posting much for a while but I have some more posts ready! Next up will be a review of some natural beauty/hygiene products I’ve purchased recently.

Hope you’re having a great summer!

Un-Re-Inventing Myself

I’ve been thinking a lot about self re-invention lately. Madonna’s famous for it. Maybe you’ve tried it. And for me? It’s been a life-long burden. I always wanted to re-invent myself, become a better version of me. Every new school year was a chance to change how I dressed, how I acted, how everyone would see me. My motto was essentially “Maybe I’ll be this type of person now!” Going to college was a big chance for re-invention, which pretty much failed because I made no friends and college sucked. Moving to LA was my biggest chance for reinvention, which went terribly because my first year in LA sucked really hard and I just got super depressed and had a terrible eating disorder. Because here’s the thing I realized – I CAN’T BE A DIFFERENT PERSON. I try to be a different person and eventually that fails because of course it does. And then I feel like a failure. And I wallow in that shit for a while and then I try again.

I’m done. I am done reinventing myself. I don’t want to be a different type of person. I’m not going to be the type of person who wears size 0 pants or golfs or wears heels every day. I don’t wear all black or look like Sofia Vergara. I don’t wake up early, I’m not a minimalist, I’m not serious. I don’t want to be cooler or sexier or cuter than I really am. I want to be me. There are so many pictures of me where I don’t really see myself. Ones where I’m sulking and wearing a black hoodie, or I dyed my hair blonde, or I’m too skinny, or I’m covered in too much makeup. Or where I can tell that I was JUST FUCKING FAKING IT.

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This is me at my college graduation. I just don’t see ME here. I’m too skinny. I wasn’t happy.

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This is me dressing up for New Years Eve, going to a BIG HOLLYWOOD PARTY! I felt really fat. None of this is me. This sucks.

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I think I look pretty in this picture, but it doesn’t look like me.

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This doesn’t look like me, either. I look like I’m trying to be Salma Hayek. I’m not Salma Hayek.

Here are some pictures I love because I just see ME in them:

 

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And here’s me from today:

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I don’t necessarily know who I am yet. But I don’t want to try and figure out who I WANT to be, I want to find the things that were good about me all along. Playing pretend is fun, but you have to have a self to come home to.

Outfit Post: Baby’s First Tanktop

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Ok, so it’s not the first tanktop I’ve ever owned, but I haven’t owned one in probably five years. I’ve been getting a little more into clothes that show some skin as opposed to my usually very conservative outfits.

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Tanktop: Target

Sportsbra: Target

Skirt: Vintage (it’s below-the-knee, it’s been on the blog a million times)20140313-024806.jpg

Yeah, I’m showing off some tricep like a real buff bitch. Grr.

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Also this changes the topic but is anyone watching True Detective? I’m on the third episode and it’s amazing. And I looove Matthew McConaughey’s hair in it. I never found him attractive until this show, I guess I like him better with a shirt on and pretending to be smart.

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Getting Some Grays? WHAT TO DOOOO?! (Cue Unnecessary Despair)

I have a confession that I once swore to take to my grave – I have some gray hair. I got my first gray hair when I was 16. I started dying my grays when I was 24. I’m 25 now, and it bums me out. I did come up with a pretty cool solution, though, and I’d like to share it if you’re interested.

If you are just like FUCK YEAH I HAVE GRAY HAIR then good for you. I’m not one of you, but it takes all kinds.

Dying your hair can be pretty shitty for its long-term health. Temporary dye, though? Not so bad. “But I’d have to dye it so often!” you cry. Well, newsflash. If you don’t want anyone to notice you have gray hair, you’ll have to dye it all the time anyway unless your hair magically never grows. Or you get a wig. Or you put it up in a bun and wear hats. Or you wear hijab and don’t care if your close family and female friends know you have gray hair. You get what I’m saying.

I love my hair color so I didn’t want to dye it all away. I also didn’t want to try to approximate my hair color, because it would probably be wrong and also that’s boring. So I bought a box of black (good staying power and looks cool) 28-wash hair color and used my fingers to cover up all the areas that have gray hair – mostly around my temples, and a little near the crown and in my bangs. I pulled the hair dye all the way down the hair even though the gray is only right at the top, because to do otherwise would look ridiculous. I put a couple other randomly-placed black streaks in so that it wouldn’t be so obvious what I’d done. Then I waited 15 minutes, washed it out… conditioned it… waited for it to dry… and voila. I look fucking cool and not like I’m aging at a terrifyingly rapid clip.

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See the black streaks mixed with my natural color? Subtle but cool.

This is really easy and I managed to go about a month and a half/two months without having to dye it again (probably because I dyed it black and that has super staying power). Also I stopped pulling out my gray hairs because then they grow back and they’re all short and stick straight out and are hard to dye.

Even if you’re horrible at home beauty, this is super easy. Try it if you want. Or rock that gray hair/hat/headscarf/wig/hands-covering your-head-at-all-times. Your choice! Choice is beautiful!

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Song of the Day: Gods and Monsters

This is probably my favorite Lana del Rey song and I once listened to it for about ten hours on repeat on a flight back from China. There’s something in me that bristles at the idea of finding a Lana del Rey song meaningful, but there are two lines I love:

No-one’s gonna take my soul away

Living like Jim Morrison.

While I don’t exactly advocate living like Jim Morrison – 27 is two years away and I have a fuckton more than two years left in me – I like the essence of freedom and individuality it conveys. As for the first line, I wasn’t even aware until I’d heard it that it’s essentially the guiding force in how I live my life. When I first moved to LA to be an actress I thought I might be the type of person who took any role, no matter how shitty, and I’d be happy to “sell out” if I ever had the opportunity. Over the last four years I’ve realized I can’t be that type of person, even if I want to. I can’t spend my time doing things I don’t love. My life can’t be about putting average work into the world. I can’t advocate for things I don’t believe in. No-one’s going to take my soul away.

Outfit Post: Blue Beret Goes to The Monuments Men

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I took myself to see The Monuments Men at the movie theater at the Grove last night.

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Blue beret – Jet Rag vintage shop, LA

Olive sweater – my mom’s

Blue skirt – Etsy

Ankle boots – Target

Gold hoops – Target

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The movie theater itself is very pretty:

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There are a lot of beautiful theaters and Art Deco-era buildings in LA and I’ve been to tragically few of them.

When I got home I ate some spinach on my mom’s China, drank some Royal Tokaji out of my grandma’s Grand Marnier glass, and finished (yippee!) my book about Victorian interior design.20140210-150756.jpgMy thoughts on the Monuments Men – it’s not necessarily great filmmaking, but I still enjoyed it. The editing is a little weird and a lot of the movie feels like a trailer as opposed to a movie. I think the problem is it’s trying to be a lighthearted action drama with widespread appeal but it could have been a great movie if, like its subject matter, it aimed to be fine art. What’s great about the movie, though, is it is entertaining to watch, I learned about a group of people I knew nothing about, and I was reminded of the vital importance of our artistic cultural legacy. It’s really beautiful to see people who fought and died in the name of preserving the master works of Western civilization and it made me feel inspired to learn more about great works of art.

 

My Current Wish List: Home Decor Edition

I never really cared what my room looked like – as long as it was relatively clean, didn’t have a bug infestation, didn’t smell like garbage, and has some pictures of my family around, I was good. Lately as I’ve gotten more into fashion and making my life beautiful, I feel a greater need to surround myself with beauty in my own space. There are several items I’m just dying to buy right now and hopefully if I have some money left over after tax season (why are taxes such a bitch when I’m wellllll below the poverty line?), I will buy some of them. Or if I find same major bargains. Wish me luck?

1) An antique dressing screen.

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These are in general ridiculously expensive, but I’d really like one to block off my plastic drawers. I can’t afford an actual dresser so I have cheap plastic drawers from Target where I put my clothes that don’t need to be hung up. Instead of splurging on a dresser that would be heavy and hard to move, not to mention difficult to get into my small room, I’d love a screen to cordon off that part of my room. Also a dressing screen is just insanely glamorous.

2) A fringe Victorian lamp. If you follow me on Instagram, you know how much I love these.

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3) A victrola/phonograph/gramophone. Or a record player. This is more of a far-off wishlist item, most likely, because they’re expensive and I don’t NEED one.

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4) A vintage/antique/Victorian-style curtain.

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My room used to be a porch (right now you are like DANG GIRL, YOU ARE POOR, and you are absolutely right. I also have to walk through my roommate’s room to get to my room) so my door is a large sliding glass door currently covered with large pieces of construction paper (so classy), partially obscured by the giant German flag you have likely seen in the background of some of my outfit photos (I’m German. Not a Nazi. There’s a difference). I’d love to hang a beautiful curtain over my door to cover it up (not the flag. The ugly door. I’m into parentheses today).

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And I also want a satin pillowcase and a nice face towel, but those are boring.

Are you guys into interior decorating? Anything you’re currently wishing for?

Outfit Post: A Dapper Dame at CityWalk

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I took myself on a date to see Dallas Buyers’ Club at CityWalk yesterday – CityWalk is a giant, gaudy shopping center connected to Universal Studios, similar to Downtown Disney.

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Vintage-style hat: bought in Hong Kong
70s button-down: Jet Rag vintage shop in LA
Wide-leg pants: custom-made in Beijing
Vintage sunglasses: Wild Man vintage shop in Lawrence, KS
Red vegan bag: Matt and Nat

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Dallas Buyers’ Club was fantastic – I’d definitely recommend it. I thought it might be one of those Oscar movies that’s bleak and depressing but the performances are good, but it really wasn’t. It definitely was sad, and the performances were fantastic, but it wasn’t bleak. Some parts were funny, some parts were inspiring – it isn’t the story of a man dying of AIDs, it’s the story of a man who refuses to die quietly and accept the discrimination and the backwards FDA regulations systems of the late 80s. It’s an important and moving story and I’d definitely recommend it.

Outfit Post: Bomb Girl Goes to Six Flags

 

 

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This outfit makes me feel like a ’40s gal who’s pitching in to help the war effort. Like sure I’ll wear pants and a button-down… but it’s gotta be cute.

Shirt: Custom-made in China (I bought the vintage buttons on Etsy and put them on myself)

Jeans: Custom, bought on Etsy

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I realized I never smile in my pictures so I’m trying to prove that I do actually know how.

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On Sunday I went to Six Flags – that’s right, I have a season pass. You should, too. It’s SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS to ride sick-ass roller coasters ALL YEAR LONG!

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The Green Lantern ride – I love it but a friend of mine characterized it as “a series of jump kicks to the chest and balls.” So I guess you’ll have to make up your own mind.

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Riding roller coasters is definitely one of the #1 things I want to do with my life. Hit me up if you want to go to Magic Mountain, you can find me on the Superman ride, Tatsu, or complaining about having to put my things in a locker to go on X2.

Outfit Post: Lady Detective

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Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries has been making me crave her silky, glamorous wardrobe. I’ve also been in a bit of a pants mood this week (which is CRAZY and very rare) so I tried to channel my inner lady detective with this outfit.

Silky 70s camisole – etsy
Silk 60s bed jacket – The Hidden Closet
Pinstripe black pants – custom-made in China
Unpictured shoes – red Minnetonka moccasins
Vintage necklace and earrings – from my grandmother
Hair clip – bought in China

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Love this barrette. Looks very 20s to me.

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Isn’t this a fantastic necklace? I wish I knew more about it.

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My plant and I.

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I don’t normally think I was born in the wrong era, but I feel it some days. I may not be a fashionable 1920s lady detective, but it sure was fun to dress like one for a day.