Nails NAils NAILS

Nails. Hard skin-type stuff on the end of your fingers, or a ferocious symbol that says “Fuck you, I’m a woman” from the moment you wake up? Shit, you’re even a fierce-ass bitch in your sleep.

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See? That’s from Tumblr, by somebody or other. You know how Tumblr is.

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I finally convinced a friend to get acrylics with me and, as you can see, we look cool.

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Here I am right afterwards in a photo I sent to my mom because I knew she would hate that I got fake nails so I figured I  might as well fess up immediately.

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And here I am a few minutes ago, about a week after getting them put on. I swear to God, I will be buried with these nails. I don’t understand how I went 24 years without them. Have I been a fraud this whole time, languishing in a pit of un-glamorousness? I know the truth now – I am a lady with fabulous nails and I will pay $16 every two weeks to keep up this integral part of my soul.

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